How FAITH, FITNESS & FAMILY helped me to cope with my son’s death.
1 Jan 2007, my beautiful little boy Matthew was born early morning. Everything was fine until about 3pm when I said to my husband: “Let’s have him dressed up for the visitors coming soon”. That was the last time my little boy was in my arms without tubes and cables connected to machines.
He had a heart problem called transposition of the great arteries which in simple terms means that his arteries were swapped around, so the good blood wasn’t coming in.
16 days after birth he had a successful surgery operation with the greatest South African heart surgeon Susan Vosloo, but day after day, one organ at the time started failing and on his 39th day pneumonia took over him as his immune system was too low and on the 9th February 2007, at 1am our little Matthew became a beautiful angel.
“No, that can’t be true! This must be a dream! These things only happen to other people!”- I thought- This time we were “the other” people.
At that time my first son was 18 months and he also needed lots of attentions. Mummy and daddy were tired, drained, sad, weak, angry…
I was wondering where my “big tummy” went as I started a process that never finished the normal way. But in our case, that was the normal way, that was God’s call and He decided to finish that process like that.
I am Italian, practising, catholic and all I could do then was praying. I was praying a lot while Matthew was in hospital and when he was gone. I used to go and visit him daily at the memorial park (of course I still go now, not so often though), sit by his grave and pray for him, for us, for my other son.
My faith at that time grew stronger and God helped me to find that inner peace that I wouldn’t have found elsewhere.
As you can imagine, my husband and I had lots of anger, sadness and frustration we needed to shake off (and I had my pregnancy weight as well still around my waist) and I remember we used to go for runs all around the neighbourhood and that helped us a lot to go through our days. We had more energies and that dark cloud on our heads was slightly lifted.
Our little son was also our saviour in the sense that he was too little to understand our sadness. So we had to smile and play with him. He forced us to get up and keep going, being strong or at least pretending to be.
At that time the need of closure to my family was immense. I needed my husband, my son and I just wanted to stay with him. Maybe because he was the only one who could understand me and understand what I was feeling.
I also wanted to talk to people who went through the same trauma and share the feelings with them.
Matthew’s touch to our hearts left us the gift of health, prayers and love. My husband started competing in running races and I started helping people getting healthier and fitter supporting them through their journey of clean eating, exercise and feeling and looking better and younger.
Matthew also left an incredible gift of joy with us: I fell pregnant with our 3rd child and her due date was the day he passed away! That was his sign of telling us to be happy!!! And our 4th child arrived a couple of years after that.
But now it’s your turn to be happy!
If there’s anything I can help you with in your journey to a happier person, connect with me and I’ll do my best to teach you how to smile again!
I’ve created programs like:
- From walking to running
- A new you in 4 weeks
- 4 weeks Bootcamp
- 3 weeks exercise plan for a teenager
- Optimised Lifestyle Nutrition
- Burn Fat Fast with Fran
- 5 days clean eating
- 90 days skin detox program
If you want to have more info, don’t hesitate to contact me!
I’m here to help YOU reach YOUR goals!